The latest interview with Kakaduu

As one might guess, it’s not easy at all to get an interview from Kakaduu – there’s of course the immense language and culture barrier that has to be overcome. And in order to talk to Kakaduu and understand them, one has to have a perception of Kakaduu’s world, take seriously the rules of their game and the game itself. Kakaduu only rarely agrees to give an interview, and only when the interviewers are wearing animal costumes. According to their own explanation, Kakaduu understands us better then, perceives themselves in the same game as us and talks to us like to a zebra and a tiger, the way they would normally communicate to zebras and tigers. And when we play along and communicate they way we think zebras and tigers talk to cockatoos, it is possible to understand what they are talking about and write it down.

​Gallerists Zebra&Tiger practice their questions before interviewing Kakaduu.

However, the interview got turned the other way around this time, we didn’t have the opportunity to ask Kakaduu any of the questions we had prepared, Kakaduu never gave us the chance and began asking questions themselves, first of course about how well their works were selling and what the public thought of them.

Our answer saddened and angered Kakaduu – they expressed their bewilderment rather loudly and complained vociferously about the fact that none of their works had been sold recently, accusing us, their gallerists, of incompetence in the promotional work for which we’d been hired and protesting about the extortionate percentage they had agreed to give us on every sale.

When we tried to explain that their revolutionary message, lofty speeches and the artistic aims of many of their works are for many people simply not comprehensible, that most humans regard their art as primitive, pointless or simply shit, Kakaduu got extremely upset and shouted at us for quite a while. We hope that we’ve managed to catch the essence of what they said:

What do you even mean by not understanding what of our output is art and what is shit, when you stupid apes can’t even differentiate between your own art and shit! Your problem as gallerists is that you don’t know how to promote us! We are so far ahead of our times that it’s clear we won’t be understood straight away, meaning, we’re so far ahead of YOUR time, but exactly at the right place according to our own time, and our work is perfectly comprehensible to other birds, as well as some bird lovers! It’s clear – our work provokes many contradicting feelings and opinions and leaves a deep impression, like any art should, but for most of you we are simply so far ahead of time that they don’t even notice us!

In fact, we are the first, before us no human not so much as even glanced at any art made by birds, never mind talking or writing about it, we’ve accomplished an incredible breakthrough as artists; we’ve even got gallery representation and a studio, that’s more than many humans who consider themselves artists have to show for themselves, are we not right?

So what’s all this talk about shit or art, you’re shit gallerists if you don’t know how to promote us! If you could as much as shit so that it was worth talking about, that would already be art enough!

As the interview continued, Kakaduu’s speech got even more agitated and a bit confused, we found it difficult to understand exactly what they wanted to say, the words ‘shit’ and ‘art’ got mixed up and it was not easy to understand what we should pay more attention to – the making, noticing or exhibiting of art or shit, in order to sell it better, but we believe the general idea expressed in their angry twittering was that they are not our entertainers or toys, they are buying our services to sell their artworks and earn a living, they were not born to be parasites, they are proud and free birds who can take care of themselves and pay for their own visits to the vet and health insurance coverage. If we were competent as gallerists, given Kakaduu’s education and talent, they would never have any problems paying the vet’s bills, and the fact that Säuks is still losing feathers and there’s no money for another visit to the vet is not their problem. They want to be healthy and live a normal bird and artist life, they have done everything in their power, created greater art and better shit than any humans or birds so far, and they are sure the problem is the incompetent gallerists.  
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We have to admit Kakaduu is right, we have not promoted their works enough over the summer, and we haven’t tried hard enough to sell their other talents either, with which they could earn a decent living as free birds and artists among humans and get the health care they need.