A brave and intelligent Eagle has joined Kakaduu’s Mission to increase the influence of birds over people - an endeavour that, at present, is considered mission impossible not only by all humans but also most birds. He went to Tallinn, Estonia to convince local birds to think about electing their representative to the parliament of their country, where they make up the most numerous and long-standing indigenous population; as well as city governments, because city-dwelling bird population is increasing yearly, but their interests have unfairly remained almost unnoticed by the government as well as most people.
KakaduuTV sent their camera to witness the Eagle talk with a local seagull, whose family is among the most long-standing inhabitants of Tallinn, making their living in a miserable and undignified way in the city’s streets and parks.
The Eagle hasn’t managed to gain many followers yet, but running for parliament in the next elections, he hopes for a greater support among the seagull population, which would guarantee him also the respect of the majority of sparrows and pigeons, as well as their votes in the elections.
As one might guess, it’s not easy at all to get an interview from Kakaduu – there’s of course the immense language and culture barrier that has to be overcome. And in order to talk to Kakaduu and understand them, one has to have a perception of Kakaduu’s world, take seriously the rules of their game and the game itself. Kakaduu only rarely agrees to give an interview, and only when the interviewers are wearing animal costumes. According to their own explanation, Kakaduu understands us better then, perceives themselves in the same game as us and talks to us like to a zebra and a tiger, the way they would normally communicate to zebras and tigers. And when we play along and communicate they way we think zebras and tigers talk to cockatoos, it is possible to understand what they are talking about and write it down.
Gallerists Zebra&Tiger practice their questions before interviewing Kakaduu.
However, the interview got turned the other way around this time, we didn’t have the opportunity to ask Kakaduu any of the questions we had prepared, Kakaduu never gave us the chance and began asking questions themselves, first of course about how well their works were selling and what the public thought of them.
Our answer saddened and angered Kakaduu – they expressed their bewilderment rather loudly and complained vociferously about the fact that none of their works had been sold recently, accusing us, their gallerists, of incompetence in the promotional work for which we’d been hired and protesting about the extortionate percentage they had agreed to give us on every sale.
When we tried to explain that their revolutionary message, lofty speeches and the artistic aims of many of their works are for many people simply not comprehensible, that most humans regard their art as primitive, pointless or simply shit, Kakaduu got extremely upset and shouted at us for quite a while. We hope that we’ve managed to catch the essence of what they said:
What do you even mean by not understanding what of our output is art and what is shit, when you stupid apes can’t even differentiate between your own art and shit! Your problem as gallerists is that you don’t know how to promote us! We are so far ahead of our times that it’s clear we won’t be understood straight away, meaning, we’re so far ahead of YOUR time, but exactly at the right place according to our own time, and our work is perfectly comprehensible to other birds, as well as some bird lovers! It’s clear – our work provokes many contradicting feelings and opinions and leaves a deep impression, like any art should, but for most of you we are simply so far ahead of time that they don’t even notice us!
In fact, we are the first, before us no human not so much as even glanced at any art made by birds, never mind talking or writing about it, we’ve accomplished an incredible breakthrough as artists; we’ve even got gallery representation and a studio, that’s more than many humans who consider themselves artists have to show for themselves, are we not right?
So what’s all this talk about shit or art, you’re shit gallerists if you don’t know how to promote us! If you could as much as shit so that it was worth talking about, that would already be art enough!
As the interview continued, Kakaduu’s speech got even more agitated and a bit confused, we found it difficult to understand exactly what they wanted to say, the words ‘shit’ and ‘art’ got mixed up and it was not easy to understand what we should pay more attention to – the making, noticing or exhibiting of art or shit, in order to sell it better, but we believe the general idea expressed in their angry twittering was that they are not our entertainers or toys, they are buying our services to sell their artworks and earn a living, they were not born to be parasites, they are proud and free birds who can take care of themselves and pay for their own visits to the vet and health insurance coverage. If we were competent as gallerists, given Kakaduu’s education and talent, they would never have any problems paying the vet’s bills, and the fact that Säuks is still losing feathers and there’s no money for another visit to the vet is not their problem. They want to be healthy and live a normal bird and artist life, they have done everything in their power, created greater art and better shit than any humans or birds so far, and they are sure the problem is the incompetent gallerists.
We have to admit Kakaduu is right, we have not promoted their works enough over the summer, and we haven’t tried hard enough to sell their other talents either, with which they could earn a decent living as free birds and artists among humans and get the health care they need.
Kakaduu has half lost their emotional balance due to their long-lasting illness and ongoing visits to the vet. Siuks-Piuks Vidiit does not seem to be much affected by the change of habitat and climate, subsequent health problems and the process of treatment; however, Säuks has become deeply depressed and from time to time suffers from anxiety attacks, feeling misunderstood in a seemingly hostile environment. His nervous system has become so unbalanced as a result of these existential and communicative issues that we had to teach him to practice Rain Meditation:
“Meditate on the rain, Säuks, let’s switch off the artificial sun and meditate on the rain, look at the trees in the rain and imagine that raindrops are falling on the leaves and making a splattering sound; empty your head of all stressful thoughts of your illness and terrible memories of visits to the vet and concentrate on the rain, look out of the window and look at the tree that is standing in the rain, and imagine that you are not Säuks but a raindrop yourself, and you are falling onto the leaves together with all the other raindrops, and are making this splattering sound you can hear!”
Afterwards, Kakaduu felt a bit better, started listening to Tatyana Tchernigovskaya’s lecture and found out that people communicate with animals and birds through art, especially through music. They then decided to start selling their so far mostly unused musical talent and began to give piano lessons, because they can easily and much better and cheaper than most piano teachers make understood what is and what is not there in the music, when they are being performed something. They began their teaching career some time ago, practicing with their gallerists, who have since, with the help of Kakaduu, made considerable progress in the art of interpreting the music of Beethoven, Rachmaninov and some contemporary composers.
“Kак не странно, но мой мозг чувствует себя умнее, когда о себе что-то новое узнаёт,” думал Какадуу. (‘How strange that my brain feels smarter when it finds out something new about itself,’ thought Kakaduu, in their own language, of course, because they are not able to think in Russian; however, they effortlessly listen not only to Russian, but to any other language out there.)
Having lived among humans for a while, trying to sell their artworks to people, Kakaduu naturally became interested in what people want most, in the sense that what they’re lacking the most in their life. And they noticed that almost everyone lacked not only happiness, but also just plain luck. That’s why Kakaduu decided to bring some happiness to people from the Kingdom of Birds.
Kakaduu has entirely human needs for entertainment, like every human being, but it is almost impossible to find suitable leisure time activities for them, boredom nearly kills – nowhere to go, no meaningful culture to engage with, living as if in some godforsaken provincial village…
Although first tentative steps towards entertainment for non-human species are already being made, the general pace is slow, there’s no serious commitment from anyone and not much entertainment of sufficient standard for animals is available; the situation is especially bad in the realm of bird entertainment. For some animals, however, some progress has been made for which Kakaduu recognizes not only the artists but the entire humankind:
Kakaduu is happy to see such developments, but they express their deep indignation about the lack of attention to entertainment for birds. The situation seems to be so bad that Kakaduu has decided that if things don’t change soon they will start a band themselves. They have already found a drummer, now they’re looking for other members.
So if anyone out there has a bird at home who can sing, dance or play an instrument, please get in touch with Kakaduu through the contact from on this site.
Kakaduu has also started to collect donations for the release of their first album through the Paypal account of their gallerists as according to the laws of our country they don’t have the right to open a bank account.
Kakaduu has agreed to give a rare interview about the ideas behind their best known works “Kakaduu Shit on Canvas” and the triptych “Kakaduu Shit on Canvas 7×7”. They seldom concede to explaining the deeper meaning of their oeuvre to the admirers of their works; also, it is quite difficult to understand the subtleties of their language as they speak a rather obscure south London dialect of the Central African Fischerii language that is little known even to the most experienced bird languages specialists. Nevertheless, we believe that we have succeeded in translating their message relatively accurately, so that Kakaduu’s fans could get a deeper insight into their works.
Kakaduu, could you explain to the admirers of your talent the message behind the shit exhibited on some of your most famous canvases? What significance does the amount and placement of shit on the canvas have for you? Is it random, or does the position of each excrement carry a deeper meaning?
In our opinion, people like to look and think about shit more than they’re consciously aware of, and much more than is good for them or for the reasonable and practical use of shit. It seems that’s why many have lost a healthy attitude towards it, and that’s what we want to show with our works. We take an organic and lighthearted approach to shit, as well as to art. For us, taking a shit and making art are equally fun and necessary activities that we undertake whenever we feel the need, freely and effortlessly. That’s why we are so good at both, and whichever activity we engage in, it always attracts a grateful audience. However, many people don’t understand that both the making of art and taking a shit should only be undertaken when one feels a great inner need for it, that’s why they try too hard at almost anything they do, and the result is usually shit – although that wasn’t the original intention of their endeavours. That’s simply what happens when one does something without a deep inner need, but people don’t usually see that, just criticise each other’s shit and even publish their criticisms for others to read. Utter shithouse if you ask us! That’s why we want to demonstrate how to take a healthy and effortless attitude to shit.
Maestro, you seem to have an extraordinary understanding of people’s values concerning art. Do you have any comments about the relationship between art and shit on the contemporary art market? Which is more valued among the audiences today?
We don’t really understand your art – what for you is shit and what is not – for us it’s all shit anyway. There’s a lot of hard work, a lot of effort, but whether the result is good art or good shit, to us there’s no difference at all. We don’t have such issues, we do everything effortlessly, and it sells well too.
What would you say to your less famous colleagues?
Don’t strain so much! You just try too hard, you know. The world doesn’t need your art nor your shit, but it needs your struggling and stress even less. Try to understand our methods of making shit as well as making art: do everything – art or shit – only when you have the inner need for it, and do it effortlessly. It will probably make your life easier.
Indeed, Kakaduu has illustrated the matter so clearly and elegantly on their canvases that there couldn’t really be any misunderstandings on the subject. We thank Kakaduu for the interview, and eagerly await news about their next artistic endeavours. Kakaduu’s health does not allow them to undertake bigger projects at the moment as they need to collect money to pay for all their visits to the vet and all the medication. Kakaduu has therefore decided to auction one of their better known works, the triptych “Kakaduu Shit on Canvas 7×7” with the starting price of €270.
“Kakaduu Shit on Canvas 7×7. Triptych.” 2013. Canvas, recycled food.
“The View in My Window”
“The Starlit Sky above My Head”
“The Categorical Imperative in My Heart”
For enquiries and bidding use the gallerists' contacts on this website.
You may have been wondering why you haven’t heard from Kakaduu for such a long time, and for a good reason: Kakaduu has been seriously unwell recently and has had to take a break from their blog as well as their creative work.
Already some months ago Säuks discovered he was losing feathers and getting painful eczema under his wings, which made him feel so miserable that he could only shiver. Siuks-Piuks noticed he was losing feathers as well, he was also sneezing more often than usual and feared he might have caught a bad cold. Kakaduu’s health kept getting worse despite eating lots of vitamins and taking healthy salt baths, and eventually there seemed no choice but to go to see a doctor.
So last Wednesday Kakaduu went to the bus stop and took the bus to the avian vet in Charlottenburg.
When Kakaduu arrived at the vet there were lots of other birds already queuing there, so Kakaduu had to wait for quite a long time till they were finally called in.
The vet was a very nice lady, but unfortunately she didn’t speak any bird language, so Kakaduu had difficulties explaining what was wrong with them, albeit they had their gallerists with them as interpreters.
The vet examined Kakaduu thoroughly and even sent their feathers to the lab for tests.
The vet also took an x-ray of Kakaduu to find out what was wrong.
The vet concluded that Kakaduu has a fungal infection and prescribed them medicine that has to be taken every day for two weeks. She also injected Kakaduu with antibiotics. Although the injection was very unpleasant and scary, the kind vet massaged Kakaduu’s chest afterwards and the pain went away quickly.
Kakaduu was quite exhausted from the visit to the vet, but they are now recovering and Säuks’s wings are already feeling much better thanks to the antibiotics and the medicine they are taking every day. Kakaduu are already feeling well enough to gradually continue their creative work, so they have started on some willow branch miniatures.
Kakaduu has noticed yet another interesting artist performing to an alternative audience.
As the influence of birds over people is clearly extremely small, almost nonexistent, it is Kakaduu’s main need and mission to increase it as much and in whatever ways they can, while they are living and working among humans. That’s why Kakaduu have been hypnotising us for years already, so that we, too, would serve their mission - it’s not our fault that we have turned into half-animals already, acting as their gallerists-curators Zebra and Tiger, bringing their works, messages, and life story to people - Kakaduu is very skilful in hypnotising, especially Säuks, he talks directly to our reptilian brain.